Stockton Council’s recent bout of self-backslapping is well under way (see here) after having been shortlisted for a third successive year for the “prestigious” Council of the Year Award in the Association of Public Service Excellence (APSE) awards.
What is it that makes these awards so prestigious? Well, pretty much nothing.
To shamelessly steal the words of another (from here), "those councils that can provide excellence do so; those that can’t join APSE".
In order to be a part of this far-from-exclusive club, Stockton Council paid £3,159 in “Membership Fees” to APSE in 2011/12. (This is despite a draft report completed last month which could only name, at a push, three 'benefits' of APSE membership, one of which was involvement in APSE events and awards!)
In addition to the annual subscription to APSE, member organisations have the opportunity to hand over yet more taxpayers’ hard-earned cash to participate in APSE’s award ceremonies.
Sponsored by that bastion of efficiency that is UNISON, these awards ‘celebrate’ the least bad organisations that have duly paid their subs and nominated themselves in such illustrious categories as Best Catering Service, Best Transport & Fleet Servicing, and Most Fatuous Piece of Self Publicity (Okay, I made that last one up, but only the last one!).
I do have some sympathy with Stockton Council though. A press release saying “After handing over thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money, Stockton Council has nominated itself multiple times to be considered amongst the least useless organisations that subscribe to APSE” is hardly likely to gain much traction.
That said, being voted Council of the Year from amongst APSE members such as Haringey, Nottingham and South Tyneside councils, is akin to being voted as the least hated ‘celebrity’ on Big Brother.
The lesson to be learned? If you can’t provide excellence, buy a press release.
